Back a few months ago I signed up for The Way Intensive to be held at the FTS office for three days. The prep work is 7 weeks. I am not going to go into all of the prep work because it is not necessary for what I have to say. When I got to week 4 I felt like I hit a road block. I felt like I was not supposed to go. That I had signed up for the wrong reasons. I did not have time for the prep work. It was a huge commitment. It got in the way of my life, my work you fill in the blank. While writing this it just dawned on me. Why do we always sign up so quickly to do Jesus things and then when it gets hard that is the first thing that goes. I knew someone once who signed up to go on quest staff a few years back. Couple weeks into it he said that he was going to have to close on his house that sold so he was going to have to back out. I said “what if this was a vacation you had scheduled during this time?” would you cancel the vacation?” No you would tell the realtor to move the closing date. He went on quest.
Sunday night I sent the email to back out of The Way Intensive. I felt that was what I was supposed to do. The moment I sent the email I got instant peace about it …. So I thought. Two days went by and I got called out by two of my brothers in a very loving manner. So I prayed about it.
Daddy showed me a love letter today from one of the men that called me out.
Proverbs 27:17 as iron sharpens iron; so one man sharpens another.
I read his email several times this morning then Holy Spirit said call a certain individual so I did. the truth is I have been very conflicted since last Friday whether I should be doing this event, when I finally sent the email Sunday night I felt instant peace in my heart about not going. I called the man in my group and I told him what was going on. I said, “I’m not asking for you to tell me what to do I’m just doing what Holy Spirit said,” then I said, “when I told you guys yesterday morning in group that I was backing out you all knew I was full of crap.” and he said “yes we did but we couldn’t tell you that.” I got quiet for about 10 seconds and then I got a revelation that the peace that I got Sunday night after sending the email was not peace at all. The peace was disguised as relief. When does a deceived person know he is deceived? what I realized is that when I prayed about it for the last couple of days I hear yes and I hear no and I hear yes and I hear no. That only happens when you already heard from Holy Spirit what you’re supposed to do but you’re hoping he’s going to change his mind.
So I am in …. I am going on The Way. thank you for sending me the email. Because of your obedience Holy Spirit had me call my brother so Holy Spirit could say it was relief I felt not peace in my heart.
2 John 1:6 And this is love, that we walk according to his commandments; this is the commandment, just as you have heard from the beginning, so that you should walk in it.