Your choice

I received a phone call from a very close friend of mine.  we go back about 15 years. He Said something to me on the phone, and I responded with “I don’t think that’s what he was saying” and he ripped my head off and said ” don’t you tell me what I heard.” I don’t remember the last time I was spoken to in that manner, completely shut me down. I mean seriously, the last time someone spoke to me like that would have been my ex wife back in 2001. I immediately let what happened matter more than my relationship with Jesus

I could not wait to get off the phone. (It made me very sad) It was very painful. Considering what I have been learning about sonship and righteousness, this was the biggest test I’ve faced so far.

I wonder if we get so comfortable in our relationships that we can actually be a rude ass to our friends and think it’s OK?

I personally no longer feel safe having any sort of deep conversation with this person.  Now I keep it very superficial and we maybe talk once a week and I just keep it about work now nothing personal nothing about my relationship with Jesus.

Don’t let what happened matter more than what matters the most. I have to say at that moment and probably for about the next 60 minutes Jesus was not the loudest thing speaking to me. I honestly had a lot of depravity swirling around in my mind.

I want to say it took me a good hour just  to process everything to not be judgmental not meditate on the negative stuff to understand that I don’t need this person to love me so I’ll be okay. I don’t know if this gentleman’s dog got run over if he got bad news from a family member. I don’t know, but something I feel was going on. I had to make a decision quickly. That quickly was almost 2 hours later.

I prayed, Lord, thank you for this day. Thank you that I get to live this life that you purchased for me. Thank you that you live inside of me, and I don’t need people to love me and like me so I can feel better about myself. I am grateful to be called your son. Amen

I don’t wake up in the morning for you to love me so I can feel better about myself. This morning may have been rough, but this was a great day! 1 John 1:5 (ESV)
5 This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. There is no darkness in me and there is no darkness in you.