A paragraph from Oswald Chambers.
Have I been persecuting Jesus by a zealous determination to serve Him in my own way? If I feel I have done my duty and yet have hurt Him in doing it, I may be sure it was not my duty, because it has not fostered the meek and quiet spirit, but the spirit of self-satisfaction. We imagine that whatever is unpleasant is our duty! Is that anything like the spirit of our Lord – “I delight to do Thy will, O My God.” Oswald Chambers 1 – 29
This morning I made it a point to not go online and read news, watch some YouTube music, anything other than sitting praying and then opening up my Bible. These are items that get in the way it seems like almost every morning. It really makes me tired it is interference. It’s like being in a church and having an intimate conversation with someone and then somebody else walks up and blatantly interrupts to say hi to either you or the person you’re speaking to. It’s obvious you’re having a deep conversation, but this person doesn’t care. That’s what it feels like in the mornings when I want to spend time with the Lord and I let outside circumstances interrupt my time.
Having said all that, There been several things going on in my heart that had been interfering with my relationship with God. I felt over the last couple of weeks I have been making decisions based on where I want to serve him. I have known it for a while but these decisions are based on inner judgments that I have made. And then this morning I decided to read Oswald Chambers. And as usual it really spoke to me. If I’m serving Jesus where I want to serve him is that really serving him?
I have been here before.
I went as far as looking at trying to serve in another Ministry thinking I needed a change. I needed different surroundings. I thought I could learn something new somewhere else. (there sure were a lot of “I’s ” just written here.) The truth is Ministry is Ministry when it comes to the hearts of men and women. I thoroughly believed I tried to open the door to somewhere else and it got slammed shut. kind of like your trying to open a door and someone on the other side is holding it shut. That’s what it felt like. it took this person almost two weeks to get back to my email I sent him and then he said he would contact me back and never did. So, I took that as a closed-door and I didn’t take it personally.
“And to the angel of the church in Philadelphia write: ‘The words of the holy one, the true one, who has the key of David, who opens and no one will shut, who shuts and no one opens
Or my case trying to go through a shut door that I can’t open.
There will be a day that I will choose to not let outside circumstances, situations, and most importantly people influence who I am. There is only one person that gets to influence me and that would be the Holy One.
Who or what is influencing you today?