I was reading through some old blogs that I wrote a few years back. It seems this week is about unforgiveness, bitterness and being offended and today is about old wounds. I am having to ask myself is there someone I am needing to forgive or that I have picked up an offense somewhere? At this moment I am hearing nothing, but that can all change at the drop of a hat.
I have been signing my emails lately with the phrase “there is no future in the past” Little did I know that would be more for me than I realize. I always hate when something gets brought up and you realize that even though you forgave that person, the wound is still there. I thought I dealt with it … as a mater a fact I did and I got peace as well at the time. It has come back. I got a word from the Lord Friday night as I was driving down to Fredericksburg. A friend of mine is always sending scripture. I don’t mean just one scripture but 10 to 20. Sometimes a whole chapter. Anyway what he sent me Friday night was this.
8 He who gets wisdom loves his own soul;
he who cherishes understanding prospers.
9 A false witness will not go unpunished,
and he who pours out lies will perish.
10 It is not fitting for a fool to live in luxury—
how much worse for a slave to rule over princes!
11 A man’s wisdom gives him patience;
it is to his glory to overlook an offense.
Verse 11 is what just hammered me. I just looked at it and said “Lord, are you freaking kidding me?”
I have to tell you part of me on the inside said, do you remember what he did to me and how he talked to me and how he made me feel like a freaking idiot … dumb ass or whatever. Then I have to remember what my book the Bait of Satan says. (Too much to write) Anyway my wife says, have you forgiven him and while I was answering I hear Holy Spirit say NO! So I said No I guess not, dammit! So this is a good thing but I don’t like it. The fact that I have to forgive this person over again is very irritating. Nevertheless it has to be done. Here is where the rub is I am supposed to love him, but I don’t want to. I know this man is very wounded and has been for a long time. I feel I have forgiven this person …..AGAIN!!! I had to forgive my x wife over and over as well as her husband for the first couple of years after the divorce for stealing her from me. So I know I can do this …. It will just be a process.
Present day: Here is what I know, I believe in my heart that I have truly forgiven this person because I can’t remember for the life of me who it was I am talking about in the above discussion. That is not to say that something might come up and remind me later of who this is and the enemy may tell me that “see you have not forgiven this person” Then I take that thought captive to the obedience of Christ and know that I have forgiven that person. I would say this, if you say “I think I have forgiven this person,” then I would say that you have not. You know in heart if you have forgiven him. You hear this saying in church all of the time. The wound is healed but there is a scar and the scar still hearts if you rub it. I think that is crap! You are either healed or not! the blood of Jesus is not selective it covers everything! I say that if the scar still hurts then YOU keep picking at it. In other words you have a victim mentality.
Peter asked Jesus, ” 21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. In an 18 hour day that you are awake that is forgiving someone every 14.03 minutes. I heard someone say once. I dont pray for an hour everyday but I don’t let an hour go by without praying. something to think about.
Be Blessed today