I’m sitting here on the couch week four of my heart physics meditation and as soon as I picture the first screen coming up it takes me all the way back to 2015 when my brother sent me a bunch of text messages just ripping me to shreds. Saying that I am holier than now, check my Bible at the door several f-bombs. It totally threw me under the bus. I am minutes away from stepping into leading some Ministry time on the event that I was on. I couldn’t do it I had to step away and collect myself it literally took 2 days for me to recover because of what he said to me. The second screen came up and I had something happen with two mentors. They said things to me that were hurtful. It revealed the rejection that I struggle with, this was 2019.
Before the second screen went away another memory came to me from September 2022. My reaction to the way I was being treated was horrible. What the other guy did was wrong but the way I reacted was worse.
All of these recollections were where I let what happened matter more than what Jesus said about me.
The third screen comes up and it’s totally blank and I’m just sitting here waiting and then I hear John 15:4. I don’t know what it is, meditation is not over, so I haven’t looked it up yet.
John 15:4 (ESV) 4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.
And then I hear seek me first always, there will never be any more rejection when you do that. Never let anything matter more than me.
John 15:5 (ESV) 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.
I remember each one of these instances, I did not take to the Lord, I complained to my friends and to my wife.
Matthew 6:33 (ESV) 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
I think it’s pretty cut and dry always seek first the kingdom of God. You can’t go wrong with that.
Matthew 6.6 