Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!” (1 John 3:1).
If you are walking in shame, it makes it very difficult to feel valued. If you do not feel valued, then it makes it very difficult to make others feel valued.
Nathaniel Branden says “no factor is more important in people’s psychological development in motivation than the value judgments they make about themselves. Every aspect of their lives is impacted by the way they see themselves. If you believe you are worthless then you won’t add value to yourself.”
I know people and you know people that are stuck. It’s like they’re going nowhere and it’s because they don’t feel valued, they have no self-esteem they’re just going through life just to go through it, instead of going through life and growing through it.
A man went to fortune teller to hear what she had to say about his future. She looked into her crystal ball and said,” You’re going to be unhappy until you are 45 years old.” He asked her,” what will happen when I turn 45?” she said,” you’ll get used to it.”
I was that guy. No, I didn’t go to a fortune teller but two years ago I thought to myself ….. so this is my life? I’m just going to be fat, be a contractor, make the same amount of money, essentially just be stuck. I can remember thinking there’s got to be more to this than just going through the motions.
I was my own fortune teller the negative self-talk that I had was very degrading. Yes, I knew I was a son but that wasn’t enough to make me feel good about myself.
I was down on myself especially my weight. I put a plan into action I changed my eating and I started exercising. I am now in the best shape of my life.
There’s more, I like who I am, and I like where I’m going, and I’ve put more plans into action and they’re working.
The law of the Mirror is exactly what it means, looking at yourself every morning in the mirror and loving Who You Are. Loving who God made.
“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them” (Genesis 1:27).
Below are the 10 steps out of the Law of the Mirror than John Maxwell outlines for success and value.
1. Guard yourself talk. If we want to change our lives, we have to change the way we think of ourselves. If we want to change the way we think of ourselves, we need to change the way we talk to ourselves. John Maxwell
2. Stop comparing yourself to others. The path of comparison is bad news it’s really none of your business anyway what the other person is doing just focus on yourself. Kee
3. Will you be on your limiting beliefs. Charles Schwab said, “when a man has put a limit on what he will do, he has put a limit on what he can do.” Identify a limiting belief that you want to change figure out what that belief is doing and ask Holy Spirit what you need to do to change it. Kee
4. Add value to others. Do something nice for someone else get out of your comfort zone and stop being selfish. When you add value to someone it makes him value you more. Kee
5. Do the right thing even if it’s the hard thing. Dr. Laura Schlesinger always would say at the end of her show “now just go do the right thing.”
Every time you take action that build your self-esteem you become stronger as a person your character begins to improve the way you see yourself begins to improve. Kee
6. Practice of small discipline daily in a specific area of your life. John says, “Start chipping away at the small changes you need to make. You can’t change everything in one day so don’t try. Small steps.”
7. Celebrate small victories. With the small steps comes victories. When you have that Victory call someone and tell them. Kee
8. Embrace of positive vision for your life based on what you value. John says “what do you value? What prompts you to see a positive vision for your life? If you don’t have a vision, you are likely to be apathetic.”
9. Practice the one-word strategy. Kevin Hall says, “Pick one word. One positive word that describes you and speak it over yourself every day”.
My word is Extraordinary
10. Take responsibility for your life. John says, “we tend to get in life what we are willing to tolerate. If we allow others to disrespect us, we get disrespected. If we tolerate abuse, we get abused. If we think it’s okay to be overworked and underpaid, guess what will happen? If we don’t have a plan and a purpose for our lives, we will become part of someone else’s.”
It is difficult to focus on your past and change your future. I like to say there is no future in your past. Look at yourself in the mirror love who you see and love everybody that you come in contact with and make them feel valued.