I got to experience this judgment crap first hand. I had set up an appointment to have my Daughter Rebekah’s truck to be worked on at Christian Brothers Automotive, but Rachel my oldest daughter who had a bad experience with CBA decided that she would take the truck somewhere else. That pissed me off! What she did was wrong. I assessed that she did this out of disrespect of me and my authority of my household. I judged her motives without talking to her first. So all day I did the negative self talk thing. You know how that goes. “I can’t believe she did that to me” ” who does she think she is” “I am the one who bought that truck not her” Maybe since she took matters into her own hands she should pay for the repair herself”
Oh it gets better …………… I judged my wife as well. I just assumed she didn’t back me up when talking to Rachel. There were a lot of other things I thought as well. My point is, by the time I got home I was made at Rachel, mad at Rebekah’s and mad at my wife. I had an attitude and I brought it all on myself.
Self inflicted pain. All of the negative self talk, I am not good enough at being a dad a husband. I had myself worked up into frenzy and my precious wife received the brunt of it.
After we talked it over and I vented and found out all the details and how she did defend me, I felt like a complete idiot. Why? Because I fell into the trap of judgment and attaching a “WHY” and significance to the issue at hand today. I reaped what I sowed and it sucked crap.
I learned this evening that I had to be willing to surrender my opinion before I was able to move forward or see it from the other side. My wife’s side.
A little nugget out of the chapter “fixing you is killing me”
People who are focused on their faults never escape those faults.