When I woke this morning the first thing I heard was draw near to me and I will draw near to you. So, why do I fight it? I have no idea and it is very frustrating. So why not be joyful that I heard the Lord this morning? What do you think that is? I know this, that whatever is going on in me right now I don’t like it. I feel like I am on the hot seat, but I don’t know what that hot seat is. ……………… Now that I pondered that question a moment it is jealousy. I am getting worn out. There is something every day that gets touched. Just yesterday I noticed it trying to raise its ugly head again with Kelly and Rachel. She asked me if I minded them going shopping, which I said “go ahead”. What I noticed was the whole time she was gone I wanted to look at porn because I was annoyed and it should not be that way. Lord help me in this area because I do not know what to do and it saddens me even right now and it brings me to tears.
I sit here thinking back to a time where I was once where I had to say the scripture below
1 Peter 2:9 9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the manliness of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light:
This is what Jesus did. He called you and me out of the darkness and into his light where there is no sin and we have to choose to stay in that light. In the light there is only one kind of Jealousy and that is righteous jealousy. God is jealous for me and He wants all of me.
I have something else but I will put that in a separate post, it really spoke to me.
Be Blessed today and walk it out