A Personal Story of Courage and Love
1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
Have you ever had somebody ask you to do something? In your mind, you’re like, “Oh heck no. I am not doing that!”
On Thanksgiving day, I was asked to officiate a wedding. The notion of doing that absolutely terrified me. My first thought was, “There is no way I’m doing that. I have never done a wedding before. My daughter’s wedding is not going to be my first.” (The thought of sending that fear away didn’t even occur to me. My how easily we forget.)
You see, I had a wound that I did not know about that happened to me in September 2022. I was standing in front of a crowd of about 40 people. I had several lines memorized that I had heard for 16 years. When it was my time to speak, I went blank. I was embarrassed and filled with shame, and somebody else had to step in and finish the job. When I was asked to officiate, that memory instantly resurfaced. (Some people would say I was triggered. I hate that terminology. Personally I think it’s better said that the wound was exposed and brought into the light.)
I was overcome with fear. I wrestled with this all the way up to Christmas Day. After everyone left over the Christmas break, she stayed at the house. I was down in my office working. She came down there to talk about the printer, but she had ulterior motives. She cornered me. She asked me again. I said I don’t think so. She just looked at me and went, “Why?”
I said I just can’t take a chance on screwing up on your wedding day. She looked at me and she goes, “Why?” Well, she knows me well enough to know that there is a reason behind the reason. It was sheer fear.
I have learned over the years that fear is not an excuse not to do something, especially if it’s good. Scripture says perfect love casts out fear. She looked at me and smiled. In my mind, I’m thinking, “How can I say no to her?” I agreed, then instantly wondered what have I done? How am I going to do this?
I had to send this fear away. I was not having much success.
Two days later I was driving into work. The Lord downloaded to me some peaceful thoughts. I thought it was stuff to say in the wedding but it was just for me. The Lord spoke and I got peace. The wedding is on May 3rd and I am ready.
What began with fear and trepidation has turned into a profound journey of faith and love. My daughter’s unwavering insistence and gentle probing led me to confront my deepest fears and insecurities. It shows the power of love. We can find incredible strength within ourselves when motivated by it.
I find myself ready to officiate her wedding. I am also prepared to embrace a new chapter of courage and redemption. This experience has taught me an important lesson. Facing our fears can lead to unexpected peace. Especially for those we love, it can result in remarkable growth.
2 Timothy 1:7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
In that day you will know, that I am in my Father, you are in me and I m in you. John 14.20
I think sometimes we have to go through things. These experiences remind us of who is in us and more importantly who we are in Him. There is no room for anything else.
Matthew 6.6 