Are you selfish? I believe some of us to some extent have some of this trait, some more than others, some might not have it at all. I have struggled with this a lot over a lifetime. During my first marriage that was who I was, everything was about me. I controlled all the money, I made all the decisions, I made my ex wife a doormat. In the early years of my second marriage that’s when it all really came to the surface.
Has anyone read James lately?
James 3.16 An environment of envy and rivalry is conducive to confusion and disorder and all kinds of worthless pursuits. The Mirror
James 3:16 (TPT) 16 So wherever jealousy and selfishness are uncovered, you will also find many troubles and every kind of meanness.
The passion translation…. wow that was powerful, every kind of meanness?
James 3:16 (ESV) For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.
When it comes to your spouse what does that look like?
When you are living in harmony with your spouse, I think this passage out of Ephesians is where you would be.
Ephesians 5:21 (ESV) 21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Do you live as one? Or are you the boss?
What is important to you? Is your spouse a widow or widower? Here’s the link to the very first time I wrote about the widows and orphans that live in your own home.
https://matthew66.com/2011/07/24/james-126-27/
If you are the sole Breadwinner in your home do you remind your spouse of that, that you make all the money?
This passage out of the message translation just absolutely knocked me out of my chair.
Ephesians 5:25-28 (MSG) 25 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. 26 Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, 27 dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. 28 And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.
In verse 26 he says everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her? I would also think that that could be reversed and everything she does and says is designed to bring the best out of him.
So the big question is this.
In your marriage does everything that you do bring out the best in your spouse?
Matthew 6.6 