“Name” “There are certain things that exists in your heart that you may never discover unless you push yourself hard enough to find it” from “Think Differently” The Lord really spoke to me about this Quote.
He showed me that there are areas where I am afraid to go deep because I want to avoid the pain. “NICE I thought” I am not digging deep enough. This does not necessary mean it is a bad thing in my heart it could be something good as well. I have to dig though. I just got back off of Quest that is where I found the quote. It was in my quest journal from 2010. I thought about this the whole time I was on the event. The big thing happened when I got back. The normal has been that I am so emotionally, spiritually and physically whipped that I will fall to porn in some form or fashion. NOT THIS TIME!
This week I am free and walking as a son. Something that impacted the biggest was the quote I heard.
“Is your joy bigger than your cross?”
I cannot get that out of my mind. The Lord has shown me that the battle that I have, has been bigger than my Joy. So right now I get it …… I get it. I get it so much I am in tears. Lord I repent from not trusting you. I was supposed to go to the FTS Warrior breakfast this morning. I just felt I was supposed to stay home and write and now I know why.
Hebrews 12:2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. As a man Jesus walked with joy to the cross.
I cannot tell you how many times I have read this scripture or for the matter all of Hebrews 12:1-4 ….. This just jacks me up right now. In my mind I am just derailed about this…. The joy knowing where He is going….. The obedience that He is walking in.
All this time my Cross … MY CROSS has been bigger than my joy.
I looked up Google images of Demons two days ago to get a visual of what I have been letting enter into my body. It literally scared the crap out of me. You think I am joking? Google demons and just think about that the next time to try to manipulate someone or look at porn or choose to have an affair. I think you get the point.
So my question to you is this. That one thing that you still struggle with. Is your joy bigger than your cross? (the cross is anything … lying, lust, porn, adultery, idolatry, pride to name a few.)
Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. 4 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.
In your presence Lord there is peace and joy