Its personal part 2 2022

I wrote this post almost 2 years ago. I read it this morning because Holy Spirit brought it back to me. I’m Amazed at how it spoke to me all over again this morning.

I wrote a couple weeks ago about taking a sabbatical. Aug 22nd titled “it is time”

I have written more this year than the year before. You would think by everything that I have posted. It would appear that I have been in a good place.

For the most part I feel like I have.

This morning discoveries were made.

I have discovered that my prayer life has not been good for a long time. Very superficial.

I have been on vacation/sabbatical for several days and honestly that’s been a struggle. There’s a sign in front of me in the kitchen where I’m staying that says

“we’re so glad you are here”

All I can think of is really? I am in the pristine Colorado Rockies….. I am with the woman that I love. I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and did not like what I saw.

Here’s a quote from Dr James Richards book the prayer organizer and I think it pretty well sums up what’s going on with me.

Religion lead us to believe we are still that same person. This false idea implies that our past has been forgiven, but we are still that same old person and our job is now to become the person God wants us to be. This doctrinal scenario sets up a destructive belief at the outside of our journey with God. “I am not as God desires me to be. I am rejected if I do not become who I need to be.”

These negative beliefs create thoughts, feelings, and emotions in direct conflict with what the Spirit of God has done and is currently communicating in our heart! We are basically rejecting the free gift of righteousness in Christ and pursuing our own righteousness.

I read this and it makes me think of having a works mentality.

This has been definitely a time of discovery.

Today I got Revelation and everything has changed.

5 hrs this morning reading and meditating

My relationship with the lord had been more of just an acquaintance than an intimate relationship.

Other relationships suffer because of this.


Wicked Unbelief.

Lack of worship

Pursuing my own rightousness.

Orphan mentality.

Stay out of my office until I’m through with my time with the lord in the mornings.

This is reality. This is not me beating myself up with a stick.

Changes are coming……..

4 thoughts on “Its personal part 2 2022

  1. Hey Monica
    Hope you are well
    This was originally written August 2020. I was not in a good place.
    Thank you though what you wrote is a great reminder.


  2. Don’t beat tourself up too bad. Life here on earth gets inthe way. I don’t believe God cares about how long you pray to/with Him , but the time you’re there is quality time. We want to praybe consistent in our prayer life, but there are times when we steal away to be with God, we need to be silent and let Him do the talking. Allow him to touch your heart and truly reveal what’s there. That’s what He cares about. If your heart is pure, your actions will be also. My best times of prayer with God is walking through or outside my home enjoying the peacefulness. Looking around at the beautiful day/night He created. I spend time with Him daily, but not hours on end on my knees. If He directs me to do so, that’s a different story. Quality over quantity. Praying for you brother. Keep the faith. You are doing and are a beautiful inspiration to us.


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